Hisself
By John Gavazzoni

Yes, I'm aware that the title to this study is grammatically incorrect, but I'm guessing it's caught your attention and raised some curiosity. The fact that "hisself" is considered grammatically improper, amounts to a sort of English language anomaly. Let me explain: Among the personal pronouns expressive of both male and female genders, we have on the female side, "she," "her," "hers," and "herself," but on the male side, the equivalent of herself, which would be hisself, is not allowed. Himself doesn't qualify as equivalent, for it does not convey the possessive element that herself does. What we have is "he" for "she;" "him" for "her;" "his" for "hers;" and (illogically) "himself" for "herself." Clearly, "herself," calls for "hisself." We could make it two words, i.e., his self, to get the same sense as the female one-word, herself.

Note: "Herself," while it can be used to add emphasis as in, "she, herself, made the statement, and not someone speaking for her." But "herself," also conveys the self as belonging to her, whereas "himself" does not. "Hisself" would. We can say, "It was he, himself, who addressed the crowd," likewise adding emphasis to "him" as "herself" does for "her." "Herself" works in the feminine mode for both emphasis and possession, whereas "himself" does not. Where am I going with this? Why am I seemingly laboring a point to the point of causing my readers to scratch their heads in bewilderment?

It's because, the above language anomaly, tends to put a false spin on how Jesus qualified discipleship. Our Lord, as conventionally translated from the Greek to English, confronted would-be disciples with the insistence that coming after Him called for such a one to "deny himself, take up his cross, and follow (Him.)" "Himself," there in the English translation, tends to put a morbid spin on self-denial. Are we to take up an attitude of self-loathing that would lead to questioning the very worth of our existence? Valid psychological insight is clear re: this matter. The most dysfunctional people are those whose consciences have pushed them beyond what might be considered normal shame, to toxic shame, to being ashamed at their very being, their very existence. Such were the "demonized" of Jesus day. (Of course, the gospel of Jesus Christ places shame, all shame, in a different light, but that's a subject for another time.)

Referencing our brother Jonathan Mitchell's Translation of the New Testament, is most helpful in clearing up for us our Lord's meaning. In that translation, expanded and amplified, in Mark's version of Jesus statement (Luke has a slightly different one...different, but not contradictory), the rendering goes as follows taking verses 34 and 35 together, as is required for our understanding of Jesus' meaning:

Verse 34. So, calling the crowd--together with His disciples--toward Himself, He said to them, "if anyone continues purposing (intending; willing) to come behind (or: after) Me, let him once for all completely renounce (deny; disown; = say "No!" to) himself and pick up his cross (or: torture and death stake) and [thus] let him be continuously (habitually; progressively) following (coming after and accompanying) Me. 35. "For, whosoever may continue purposing (intending; willing) to save (deliver; rescue) his soul (or: the soul-life pertaining and having its source in himself; or: the soul which is himself; his inner life) will destroy and lose it (or: her). Yet whoever destroys his soul (or: the soul which is himself; the inner life of the false self) on account of Me and for the sake of the good news (the message of wellness and goodness) will deliver (rescue; save) it (or: will restore her to heath, wholeness and her original state and condition).

Over and over again, pondering our Lord's explanation of what discipleship entails, the Holy Spirit has emphasized to me "HIS soul" (emphasis, mine). Over and over again, I've heard the whisper of the Spirit saying "take notice, it's HIS soul, the soul as owned by him, in contradiction to Paul writing, 'for you are not your own, you are bought with a price....'" In brother Jonathan's translation, note the necessity to disown himself, which in the next verse, becomes his soul, as the inner life of the false self.

Beloved, here's my point: It's the self-possessed self that is to be denied. It's ourselves as belonging to ourselves that is to be denied, BECAUSE God, in His relationship with us, denies such a self. To that "self" He says, "depart from me, I never knew you." God does not know that self, as in to know experientially and intimately in communion with Him. The sheep that hear the Shepherd's voice and follow Him, are the sheep AS they are known by Christ. Please note: Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." It would appear to make more sense as a statement, for our Lord to say, "My sheep hear my voice, and they know me, and they follow me." Do you see the hidden gem there in what He said?

It's the real person, the person of Reality, the person as known of God, who (always, continually, habitually, ongoingly, and continuously) follows the Good Shepherd. It's the self-owned self that goes its own way. It's about a sense of self as having, in some way, and by some definition, its own autonomy. There is a way that seems to THAT self to be right, but that leads to death. The self that claims self-ownership is essentially the self that insists on its self-independence, and that reckons complete dependence upon God, without qualification, to be a thing repugnant to its ego, and feels disrespected by God. Such infamy flies in the face of Paul's dictum, "ye are not your own, ye are bought with a price...."

God does not want to rid us of our essential self, He wants to deliver us from our perception of autonomy of being, for "in Him, we live, and move, and have our being." Paul reveals his inspired understanding of our union with Christ, a union whereby Christ is the life of the life which is us, each of us being wonderfully unique. When we speak of being in union with Christ, union implies an anotherness within the oneness of life we share with Him. Paul does not deny the life, which is himself, or deny living that life. Note the exactness of his understanding: "I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me, and the life I now live, I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me, and gave Himself for me." There Paul acknowledges being crucified with Christ, yet follows declaring that he lives (HE lives), yet it's Christ living in him, but Christ hasn't displaced him, for Paul goes on to say, "...the life I NOW LIVE." We are not to deny, to renounce, the self which we are. We are to abjure/renounce/repudiate/deny the self AS owned by us.

Enters at this point, the principle so well expounded by Harry Robert Fox, that all the imperatives of scripture are based up the indicatives. It is imperative that we deny the self-owned self, but do so based upon the indicative that God denies THAT self. To that self, Jesus says, "depart from Me, I never knew you," as in "gnosis" to know in intimate fellowship. I dare say, all soulish behavior traces to the presumption that our soul, ourself, our life, belongs to us. Jesus is our Lord. "Lord" in the Greek, extends to ownership. He is our Owner. Our souls are His. We are to affirm what/who God affirms, and deny what/who God denies. It is true that the Lord accepts us as we are, but He may not accept who we THINK we are. It's one thing to live out the person God knows; it's another thing to live out our own perception of what/who we are.

The temptation of Eve was essentially a temptation to ingest a knowledge of good and evil, in order to order her own destiny. "Show me what right and wrong are, and I'll take it from there, though I'll admit to needing some help from you, Lord." I've said so many times, and written so many times, that to know good and evil apart from knowing God in a relationship of intimate communion, amounts to stealing from God what only belongs to Him. Death follows from such an attempt to hit the mark of pleasing God. To sin, means to miss the mark. We miss the mark while trying to hit the mark, and it's the independent self-owned self that ends up in such futility. To know good and evil without knowing God is death.

Do deny YOUR self. A man must deny hisself, and a woman must deny herself, to "follow on to know the Lord."